Owl City Plug-In: An Explanation
I feel like I am undertaking a dissertation by starting this blog post, but I feel the need to finish this, or at least start it. The topic of this post is something that has lingered on (possibly even plagued) my mind for quite a while. I have always desired to explain all of this somewhere at some point, but the sheer intimidation of the incredible amount of thoughts and feelings I have about these topics felt overwhelming in the past. But now, since it is Christmas break and I have a decent amount of time on my hands, I am finally free to gently push open this door.
Now, to be quite frank, ultimately, this is a post about myself. While all of the admiration and adoration that I have for Adam Young and his work is deep and evident (yet also necessary to express), everything contained herein is directly correlated to who I think I am as a person. Now, in order for that to make sense, I must also undergo the stressful challenge of explaining just exactly who I think I am. I say that this is a stressful challenge because I find describing myself relatively difficult. With many things concerning myself, I either find some sort of conflict or contradiction, or I find a quality or tendency that is troublesome to explain as I fear it makes me seem prideful. If you don’t know this already, I am deeply apprehensive of pride, and I suppose this can top the list. That simple fact leads to…
A Vague Overview of Who I Think I Am (at this point in my life)
Not only is this difficult for me to do in general, but it is also difficult to simply begin. On that note, I suppose that this is an acceptable general description:
I feel like the product of an intricate web of ideas and thoughts stricken by an unrelenting tornado of emotions, set ablaze by an abnormal worldview, and perpetuated by a combination of faith and logic
I will try to elaborate on all of these points to the best of my ability, but I feel that that majority of them speak for themselves.
An intricate web of ideas and thoughts -This is another example of something I fear may make me seem prideful (as is this whole bullet in general), but it’s basically simply a typical trait of an introvert (or an INTJ if you want to go further into personality). The majority of the time, regardless of where I am, I’m in my own head doing the following (and probably more): trying to figure something out, evaluating something that is going on or being said, quietly and passively judging the words and actions of people around me, thinking about what to say or do, reflecting on something that I have already said (usually resulting in the urge to go back in time to tweak my message), and sometimes even creating or identifying more problems to attempt to figure out, all of which usually lead to a completely new and different string of thoughts all coursing through my mind within a very short amount of time. This is often what causes me to seem so disconnected with reality, especially in public. I realize this, and that usually results in me feeling sorry for the people that I do actually manage to spend time with because I think I do understand how it must be for them being around me, feeling ignored, uninteresting, or unimportant - that I’m dismissive. None of these negative results are intentional, of course, but seem to be unavoidable. I feel that this description and these tendencies are evident merely in this paragraph. As I’m typing all of this out, I’m simultaneously figuring out where exactly this piece of the puzzle (that is this blog post) fits, how it would be received by the few general people who will read this, how it would be received by the even fewer close friends who will read this, and if I feel it even meets my standards of writing, describing, or explaining (it usually doesn’t, which results in an absurd amount of time spent proofreading and editing the same paragraph or post multiple times).
An unrelenting tornado of emotions - This, to me, seems like a rather cliche metaphor, but it’s accurate nonetheless. So, in contrast to the thoughts that I have described in the last paragraph which are typically objective and impersonal, we have (again occurring simultaneously) emotions that are typically subjective and people-oriented. This is one of the examples of a clash that I mentioned before. Typically my thoughts are influenced mainly by logic and rationality whereas certain emotions are more easily influenced by a lack of the two. This is not to say that they do not influence each other or that they are completely disconnected (that would be even more confusing), but the combination of thought and emotion is usually what causes a clash (even concerning just the two). For instance, if I gaze upon the glorious examples of a degenerate youth, the thoughts produced are initially negative and distasteful, whereas emotionally I feel very attached and fond of people. So what results is a thought process that goes from judgement (you can’t tell me that we don’t all experience this initial stage), which is then influenced by emotions such as compassion and empathy, which then produces a clash of the original judgmental thoughts and the final product of forgiving and understanding thoughts. Because of this, just being present in most public places and sometimes even around friends or acquaintances results in miniature mental crises. This is not really a main reason as to why I prefer to be either alone in a quiet place or in the company of a few very particularly close friends, but it most certainly contributes.
Set ablaze by an abnormal worldview - Again, this seems very cliche, but also very accurate. I believe I am able to vaguely recall some of the first times in which I was introduced to the concept of a “worldview.” I think one of the most accurate descriptions that I heard was something along the lines of a worldview being a filter, like a pair of glasses that affects how you see the world and the many things it contains. Now, a worldview, a filter, is comprised of many different components that act to filter and deliver what exactly you see in the world. I can’t say that I can identify the main components of the worldviews of others, but for me, my worldview is composed of two main components: a strong Christian faith and an inquisitive, curious, and skeptical mentality. Now, I realize that to some people these two components seem contradictory, but I assure you that they are not. The justification for this claim is something that I plan to spend a lifetime explaining, but now is not the time nor is this particular post the place (entirely). I use the phrase “set ablaze” because this worldview, like I mentioned, acts as a filter. My worldview, to me, acts as a flame in that it purifies everything that is presented to me, whether that be an idea, a thought, a person, a means of government, etc.
Perpetuated by a combination of faith and logic - This last clause is hopefully pretty straight-forward. Everything that I’ve just mentioned, everything about me, is a product of and is fueled by this combination of faith and logic. Hopefully you see the obvious connection between these two things and the two components of my worldview as they act hand-in-hand.
So there you have it, a general daisy-chain of who I am:
Ideas and thoughts mutually affecting emotions which are all filtered through a worldview that revolves around and is based upon faith and logic.
Now that you hopefully understand who I am a bit better (but I would understand if you didn’t; I’m a mess), I think I can continue with the main point. One of the main reasons that I am so fond of Owl City is because of the mastermind: Adam Young. I’m not claiming to be a genius; I am rather confident that I am unable to produce the pure, tangible joy that is his music, but I feel very similar to him as a person. Which leads me to the next point…
The Traits of Adam Young and the Correlation to Myself (or what I try to be)  or What I Admire (but am not) 
- Devout Christian 
- Shy 
- Socially Introverted 
- Innocent Mentality 
- Lover of Poetry 
- Modest 
- Lover of Music, Instrumentals, Synthpop, Electronic 
- Kindhearted and Graceful 
- Dreamer 
- Strong-willed with Convictions 
- Insomniac 
- Sense of Humor of a Playful Troll  (Check his Twitter)
There are many other things that I admire about Adam Young, but I won’t add them here because the list would end up being ridiculously long, and it may make me seem like something isn’t right in my head - that I could possibly be the kind of person that would find out where Adam Young lives, wait somewhere outside, and steal his trash when it was taken out.
If you truly know me or understand me as a person, then you most likely know that there aren’t very many things (if any) that I do or say that aren’t preceded by an extensive string of thoughts or meditation. That being said, there are many reasons for my deep appreciation (perhaps even passion) for Owl City besides how I feel about Adam Young.
I think the main reason that I look up to Adam as much as I do is because he is a devout Christian in a very anti-Christian industry. He has successfully achieved both fame and wealth, yet continues to ascribe his success to God and revolve his work around his faith. He is in a very susceptible position of falling into drugs, greed, or pride, but he doesn’t seem to let any of this get to his head and continues to walk along the narrow path of Christ. Because of this, he is one of my main, worldly sources of inspiration. I love who he is and what he is doing, and this passion penetrates every layer of his work. I love his art, I love his music, I love his lyrics. Everything he stands for, everything he produces, feels so in sync with who I am.
In sum, Adam Young’s work embodies qualities of myself that may not be evident to people who don’t actually know me. If you read the general overview of myself, you have a slight understanding of how my brain works. I touched on this topic, but how my brain works probably creates the image that I’m reserved, pompous, shy, or stern.
Part of the reason of this post is because that’s not who I truly am, and there are many things about who I truly am that I am afraid to display in public. On the inside in terms of feelings and emotions, in reality, I’m much like a child. I deeply appreciate the innocence in so many things (although I do find certain things corny). I’m naturally compassionate, and I empathize with people; I feel for their troubles, concerns, and pain. To society, this trait and the traits I will go on to explain are considered “girly” or immasculine. Even so, it doesn’t take away from the fact that this is who I truly am. I’m not a typical guy. I’m not manly, and I am not so prideful or concerned about my image that I’m afraid to express that. I’m a lover. Of all the things in the world that I want in my lifetime, love falls on the top of that list. I look forward every day to finding a woman who understands me, loves God as much as I do, and would love me as much as I would love her - a woman with whom I could foster a warm, understanding, loving family and grow old (if God wills it). If I said all of this in public, I would imagine that pretty much any guy around me would exclaim, “GAY!”, but this is exactly what I mean. I love all of those sensitive, lovey things, and I’m in a world, in a generation, that considers those things “gay” or “lame” - a time where there seems to be more hatred, disdain, conflict, and disagreement than there is love and harmony. I’m not saying that the world has ever not been this way, but I’m saying I feel like I’m stuck in a time where it’s much worse. Just listen to any of Adam Young’s songs, and who and what I am describing is exactly what is being conveyed - through both the music and the lyrics.
This is the explanation for the passion.